North Korea, Best Korea!
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
Randomize
