Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I need moral support for this bender
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
