her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Is it penis luge time yet?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
