so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
"Does your mom know how big your cock is?" Worst dirty talk I've ever had.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
