I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Randomize