I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
