Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
