he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Randomize
