D3 body, D1 cock
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
