I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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