apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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