I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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