so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
