Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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