So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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