Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
i can't believe i had my finger in that
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
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