well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
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