Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Randomize
