just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
I hope mine doesn't look like that
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
I got my period on eclipse day. I'm officially in line with the moon.
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
