sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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