you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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