it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
