I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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