Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
