come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize
