You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Randomize
