maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
