Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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