You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
Randomize
