You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Randomize