they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
