yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize
