tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
