How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
Actions speak louder than pants.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
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