found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Randomize
