Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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