Do you still have your period?
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize