I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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