he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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