No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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