You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
