OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
