mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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