I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Why is your signature on my underwear?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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