they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
BRING THE BAGELS
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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