She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Randomize
