I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You pole danced in your parka.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
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