I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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