I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Randomize
