Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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