the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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