then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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