I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
