chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Randomize
