I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize