oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
