You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
Randomize
