I just poured my flask into a drink. Then I realized the drink belonged to the guy next to me so I stole it from him. He confronted me and I made out with him to distract him. When I looked up, I realized his wife was watching. Its barely 10:00.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
